I'm back!
It has been a crazy holiday season! It has been a beautiful and sweet holiday season! I will write more when I can think.
Right now my heart is full of emotions I need to get out. We are on our way home from the airport. My baby girl is taking her first flight, alone! Did you read that ALONE! I am so grateful for friends that are willing to take my girl in for the weekend.
I have to say I was not prepared for all the emotions. To start with we left the house late, we forgot her birth certificate. We had to turn around and go home. Later still. Anxiety climbing. We get to the airport an hour plus early. It takes the guy literally 40 mins to check us in. He had not done too many minors unattended! My anxiety climbs. My hubby on the other hand, as cool as can be, says "we have plenty of time". Yep, that's him Mr. Calm bones! It's almost worse for my anxiety that he is so calm. I think "what is wrong with you!" Then I am reminded that this Christlikeness is nothing I should be irritated with. And when I am, it is so prideful and arrogant of me, sinful! Reminder of how much I fall short of God's purity! How much I fall short in trusting the Lords hand! And lets be honest, trusting my hubby! Would he do anything to hurt us? NO!! Absolutely not!!
Finish with counter man, have to make it through security. We have 35 -40 mins til take off! Go to one security, wrong one, go to other. Line is forever! We get through security with 15 mins till take off! Anxiety on over load! Hubby prays as we head to the gate for nerves. Baby girl is also on high anxiety, she feels sick! She thinks she may throw up!! We get to the gate and, can you believe, plane is delayed by 10 mins. Every 5-8 mins, plane is delayed yet another 10 mins. Two hours later we get the approval to board. They said it was a flapper issue. That is part of the plane that helps take off and land. That is an important part of the plane. We want that fixed! We need that fixed and fixed right!! Don't want to rush the technician working on that problem!
So all my worries about missing the plane and we sit for over 2 hours waiting!
As we stand there and watch the plane fill up I am over come with emotions. No, it started saying goodbye at the terminal. They scanned her boarding pass, gave her a hug and fought the tears. I think she did too! I knew she could not see me cry. She would think I was sad. It was not all sad. I was so grateful she was going to a friend and not my ex, her dad! Her dad and I were there together, This was not a visitation trip! This was an excited trip!
Watching her go and then standing and watching the plane flashed the memory of the trips going to see my dad. I would leave my mom for dad's visitation. I would have so many mixed feelings. Standing there I remembered being on the plane and looking out the window and seeing my dad standing against the window watching it. I would sit and wave to him! It was like it was yesterday! I thought "How did dad do this?" I miss her already and the plane has not even left. Would she be in the seat crying so much they turn the plane around? All these thoughts flooding my mind. I was almost paralyzed!
My hubby had another thought- one of our sweet pea. Taking a trip at age 7. Thinking how it would be to put a 7 year old on a plane.
The rush of emotions I was not prepared for!
As we drive home baby girl texted, she is there! We are not even home yet and she is in Chicago! Can you believe? We did grab lunch and not even an hour away and she is getting of the plane to meet her friends! Her friend she has been separated from for 4 months!
I am Praising the Lord! Grateful she is with friends and not in a stressful divorce situation. I know that sounds weird to some, a child of divorce who has a strong, healthy, and most important God focused marriage, this is a huge deal!
Praise the Lord I say! Praise the Lord!
So my hubby tells me this morning (the morning after) the reason why I get searched or checked is because my anxiety shows! I look like a nervous wreck going through security! I know I feel it but I look it too! Good grief! No wonder! He said he did not think standing there in line as I am bouncing all over the place and looking all over the place was the time to tell me I look like I should be searched! Oh Lord please help me not draw attention to myself and ask to be searched while going through security!
Right now my heart is full of emotions I need to get out. We are on our way home from the airport. My baby girl is taking her first flight, alone! Did you read that ALONE! I am so grateful for friends that are willing to take my girl in for the weekend.
I have to say I was not prepared for all the emotions. To start with we left the house late, we forgot her birth certificate. We had to turn around and go home. Later still. Anxiety climbing. We get to the airport an hour plus early. It takes the guy literally 40 mins to check us in. He had not done too many minors unattended! My anxiety climbs. My hubby on the other hand, as cool as can be, says "we have plenty of time". Yep, that's him Mr. Calm bones! It's almost worse for my anxiety that he is so calm. I think "what is wrong with you!" Then I am reminded that this Christlikeness is nothing I should be irritated with. And when I am, it is so prideful and arrogant of me, sinful! Reminder of how much I fall short of God's purity! How much I fall short in trusting the Lords hand! And lets be honest, trusting my hubby! Would he do anything to hurt us? NO!! Absolutely not!!
Finish with counter man, have to make it through security. We have 35 -40 mins til take off! Go to one security, wrong one, go to other. Line is forever! We get through security with 15 mins till take off! Anxiety on over load! Hubby prays as we head to the gate for nerves. Baby girl is also on high anxiety, she feels sick! She thinks she may throw up!! We get to the gate and, can you believe, plane is delayed by 10 mins. Every 5-8 mins, plane is delayed yet another 10 mins. Two hours later we get the approval to board. They said it was a flapper issue. That is part of the plane that helps take off and land. That is an important part of the plane. We want that fixed! We need that fixed and fixed right!! Don't want to rush the technician working on that problem!
So all my worries about missing the plane and we sit for over 2 hours waiting!
As we stand there and watch the plane fill up I am over come with emotions. No, it started saying goodbye at the terminal. They scanned her boarding pass, gave her a hug and fought the tears. I think she did too! I knew she could not see me cry. She would think I was sad. It was not all sad. I was so grateful she was going to a friend and not my ex, her dad! Her dad and I were there together, This was not a visitation trip! This was an excited trip!
Watching her go and then standing and watching the plane flashed the memory of the trips going to see my dad. I would leave my mom for dad's visitation. I would have so many mixed feelings. Standing there I remembered being on the plane and looking out the window and seeing my dad standing against the window watching it. I would sit and wave to him! It was like it was yesterday! I thought "How did dad do this?" I miss her already and the plane has not even left. Would she be in the seat crying so much they turn the plane around? All these thoughts flooding my mind. I was almost paralyzed!
My hubby had another thought- one of our sweet pea. Taking a trip at age 7. Thinking how it would be to put a 7 year old on a plane.
The rush of emotions I was not prepared for!
As we drive home baby girl texted, she is there! We are not even home yet and she is in Chicago! Can you believe? We did grab lunch and not even an hour away and she is getting of the plane to meet her friends! Her friend she has been separated from for 4 months!
I am Praising the Lord! Grateful she is with friends and not in a stressful divorce situation. I know that sounds weird to some, a child of divorce who has a strong, healthy, and most important God focused marriage, this is a huge deal!
Praise the Lord I say! Praise the Lord!
So my hubby tells me this morning (the morning after) the reason why I get searched or checked is because my anxiety shows! I look like a nervous wreck going through security! I know I feel it but I look it too! Good grief! No wonder! He said he did not think standing there in line as I am bouncing all over the place and looking all over the place was the time to tell me I look like I should be searched! Oh Lord please help me not draw attention to myself and ask to be searched while going through security!
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