Weary

Ever wonder if the Sun grows weary from doing the same thing everyday? Of course not, right!! It has no feelings. What about God, does He grow weary? Of course not!!

I have been feeling weary lately. Weary mostly from fighting attitudes. My own, and others! We are told to not grow weary doing good. Yet isn't serving exhausting? Maybe its just me! Cooking meals that don't get eaten makes me weary, loose heart and down right grumpy. I know it is my fault most of the time. I allow milkshakes before dinner, I allow candy in the home, I allow snacks to be eaten after school. I buy it all. And that is not the only way I grow weary! It is one of the ways I am growing weary lately. I grow weary when I go to the store and buy food and it does not get eaten. I grow weary when I see how much food is going bad and thrown away. I could donate that money to church, school, or even pay on our home. Sounds crazy doesn't it? This is why I blog, to get thoughts out of my head and so they do not sit  there and grow, grow into lies.

I did a word search on weary - it means to grow physically and mentally exhausted from hard work.  Paul is encouraging those who are living obedient lives when he tells them to not grow weary. What about David? David grew weary while in the wilderness. David became weary after fighting!  There are 43 times the word weary is used in the Bible. God will never grow weary. There is such encouragement to those who do grow weary to cling to the Lord.  How do you do that? How do I not grow weary? How do you rejuvenate and not be selfish? How do you say "I am not cooking tonight, because I don't feel like it?" We are to die to ourselves daily and take up our cross, right?  Serve others. Love others with a humble spirit. Think of others as better than yourself. Put others needs in front of yours!

Let me just be really honest I know a lot of my weariness, I bring on myself. I do not know moderation some times. I go from not having much to make for dinner and really desiring to clean out everything in our cabinets and frig to desiring to cook every night. I brought my kids up on eating peanut butter and jelly and chicken nuggets, so when I place an elegant (lots of prep work) meal in front  of them and they do not demolish it like PB&J's and chips, why am I upset?  beaten down?  When I try to make a special meal and kids are not hungry or can't eat it due to stomach issues, why do I feel like I should not bother?

I have to believe every woman (or man) who is the regular meal prep person feels this way at some point. Thinking about the people in the Wilderness working with the manna. Do you think they grew tired from preparing the same thing every day? Could you imagine if we only had one main ingredient to eat every day, every meal?

Then their is the weariness of attitudes. Mine is number one. I get worn down and I get touchy! I get worn down by a constant correction, a constant reason for why something is not done or just plain excuses for everything. I catch myself doing this. A bill is not paid on time, I have an excuse! Milk is not in the fridge, I have a reason! Some are true and good I am not saying that ALL excuses or reasons are wrong. I grow weary from hearing them! I grow weary from being corrected. Does it matter it was yesterday and not the day before?  Does it matter the reason something was not cleaned up is because instructions were misunderstood? It still is not cleaned up right?  I get there are reasons I do! Does everything have a reason why it is not done? Where is the obedience in that?

Enjoying time today to dig through God's truth. Wonder if this will help me dig out of this weariness. Dying to self should be an honor not a chore. Have you heard the song So Long Self by MercyMe?

I will be girded with strength for the battle. That battle being my flesh, my selfishness, my pride!

I cannot fight this weariness alone it is only with the Lord I can do it!!