As I sit and wonder
As i sit and wonder what the Lord has in store for me I see his hand of grace and mercy on my life. I know the will of the Lord for my life is to love the Lord and obey his commands. In times like this I easily can move into despair or anxious thoughts. But God commands against that. God calls us to be strong and courageous not to fear for the Lord is with us (his children, believers) wherever you go. So as I sit here beside the hospital bed of my T- bone I thank the Lord for each moment to love on him.
It's been so long since I called him T-bone. He really did not like that name growing up. We tried to give him a nickname and nothing really stuck. We called him T- bone for awhile. I really don't think he was a fan.
It's after midnight and i sit here not wanting to sleep but to watch him. Why do i want to watch him? Because i am afraid, afraid for him to be in more pain because he pulled his IV or ventilator out. He has been this way for 48 hrs now.
You see, black Friday was like most black Fridays. Getting up early and shopping most of the day. Tyler played golf and around dinner time went to Ashley's. We went to bed around 11 and I was exhausted. We fell asleep really quick.
1:05am - I awake to a knock at the door. My response "i can't believe Tyler forgot his keys again. I didn't realize Ashley picked him up. It's late for him to get home. " I honestly thought I thought this, only to find out from hubby I spoke it out loud.
So I go to the door expecting to see Tyler and 2 police officers are there. They ask "is this is the Cerrito house", I say "yes,"
They say "are you Tyler's mom"
I say "oh no, what has he done. What happened? "
They say" ma'ma there has been an accident and he has been air lifted to carolina medical. We just met the helicopter on 321. The tow truck is getting his car. He was in an accident not far from here".
At this point I honestly can't breath my whole body is shaking and I start calling " Chris. Chris. Christopher"
Chris comes down and the officers keep talking to us about him.
I ask "where is carolina medical"
They say "Charlotte "
The police say speed was a factor and a neighbor heard it and called.
I run down stairs to wake Pam and Jeff. By this time I am a complete mess. Whole body is shaking and uncontrollable sobbing.
Pam and Jeff tell me they are getting ready to go. I run back upstairs as soon as i walked into my bed room I collapse to the ground and pray. Pray for protecting, pray for Tyler, pray God would prepare me for the things to come, prepare me to face my son in an unknown condition.
The police did say he was fighting to get out of his car and they had to use the jaws to cut him out. So I prayed he would be ok. I prayed the whole way that God would prepare me for what I was walking into. I had no idea.
Chris came in the room and we stopped and prayed for Tyler for our trip for God to use this for his purpose. We submitted to God's sovereignty that He is faithful in all, He works all things for his purpose. We prayed for his strength, grace and mercy to fill our hearts and minds.
I texted my sweet pea to let her know thinking she would still be up. She didn't respond and I as grateful, meaning she was asleep.
We got dressed and let Kyle know what was going on.
I sat on the steps and prayed God would give me the strength to call Ashley. I was afraid she was waiting for Tyler to cal when he got home. No answer. Tried again and thought "if she does not answer I will call her mom. " second time worked and the Lord granted me with a calm ability to inform Ashley. She wanted to come with us, we were ready to walk out the door and I wanted to get here AASAP. I told her if her parents wanted to bring her she was welcome we couldn't wait. I had one thing on my mind, get to Tyler. I know my days of being there for him first are numbered. One day he will have a wife and she will be his number 1. She will be the one to sit by his side first.
We were in the van going down the road and I was trying to figure out where we could meet up with Ashley.
The drive to Charlotte never seemed so long. I texted my best friends in my adult life. My two all weather friends. It was now 2am.
We got to Carolina medical and I was not prepared for how large of a facility it is. Wow!
God answered prayers when I saw Tyler for the first time. I was not prepared for what I saw but I did not freak out. My body shook, my heart ached. I was so emotional and yet I did not freak out. Soon after we got to the room Ashley texted she was here.
The nurses were so nice, they filled us in on more details. The car hit a tree. I asked why Tyler was brought here, they explained Tyler had head injuries, was combative at the site and since they are brain specialists, this was the best place for him to be. With a head injury this is where he needed to be.
We got some good news that he was breathing on his own when he got here but because they needed to sedate him he needed to be on the ventilator. We were also told that the scans showed no broken bones. He did have a fracture in his left cheek bone and a laceration on his left hand. No big blood patches on the brain or no large swelling areas.
The bad news there is blood on the brain and we aren't sure what the effects will be.
I was so thankful to have Lisa there, being in the medical field she could explain what the doctors and nurses were saying. What a gift the Lord gave to us with Lisa being there.
That first night felt like a day in itself. The first day felt like 3 days.
When they came to clean and stitch up his hand, we could not watch. Ashley, being a nurse at heart (its a gift) held Tyler's hand and was fine the whole time.
5am they take Tyler for another ct scan to check the blood on his brain. Another piece of good news, nothing has changed.
I was not prepared on the end of the first day how he would react when they would lower the sedation or would try to wake him up by pinching him. The first time watching him freak and choak and throw up brought on the tears the shakes the light headedness.
We have had a few more of these times nothing as bad as the first. They all make me shake and bring the tears out.
We have a battle that will last longer than today, this week, that we will fight with Tyler. We will be by his side the whole way. We will enlist our prayer warriors and lean on God's way not our way. We will not lean on our own understanding but on the Lord 's, we will not be wise in our own ways. We will trust in Him, His sovereignty and his grace.
Every 4 hours they come and poke and prod my boy. I feel so helpless. They come and access him regularly.
We wait for news when he will go for a MRI. Whatever, this shows they say treatment is the same. So why do it? To get knowledge of what we are dealing with. To maybe get an idea of recovery.
Whatever the day brings I will trust in God and his ways. And while I wait I will pray the Lord will help me to meditate, think about only those things that are pure, lovely, excellent, praiseworthy, true, and good! This alone I will pray.
I will go without sleep to keep a watchful eye on my little chick. I know that even though this is difficult it is a gift from the Lord.
It is a gift, I can kiss his head as much as I want and he can't tell me to stop.
It is a gift to see the number of people who have contacted us to encourage us. It is a gift to see/ hear the number of churches lifting my son up in prayer. Life is a gift! Out lives are a love gift from the Lord, we can best love Him by obeying all his commands. Love is a gift. Love is patient, kind, does not boast, sees the good and does not keep an account of wrongs.
Life iss important to live by honoring the Lord in thought, word and deed.
Thank you Lord for your gift - the gift of Christ, died for our sins. Out is only by his blood we can be whole again. Repent and seek His will for your life. Its easy He wrote a book for us to follow!
It's been so long since I called him T-bone. He really did not like that name growing up. We tried to give him a nickname and nothing really stuck. We called him T- bone for awhile. I really don't think he was a fan.
It's after midnight and i sit here not wanting to sleep but to watch him. Why do i want to watch him? Because i am afraid, afraid for him to be in more pain because he pulled his IV or ventilator out. He has been this way for 48 hrs now.
You see, black Friday was like most black Fridays. Getting up early and shopping most of the day. Tyler played golf and around dinner time went to Ashley's. We went to bed around 11 and I was exhausted. We fell asleep really quick.
1:05am - I awake to a knock at the door. My response "i can't believe Tyler forgot his keys again. I didn't realize Ashley picked him up. It's late for him to get home. " I honestly thought I thought this, only to find out from hubby I spoke it out loud.
So I go to the door expecting to see Tyler and 2 police officers are there. They ask "is this is the Cerrito house", I say "yes,"
They say "are you Tyler's mom"
I say "oh no, what has he done. What happened? "
They say" ma'ma there has been an accident and he has been air lifted to carolina medical. We just met the helicopter on 321. The tow truck is getting his car. He was in an accident not far from here".
At this point I honestly can't breath my whole body is shaking and I start calling " Chris. Chris. Christopher"
Chris comes down and the officers keep talking to us about him.
I ask "where is carolina medical"
They say "Charlotte "
The police say speed was a factor and a neighbor heard it and called.
I run down stairs to wake Pam and Jeff. By this time I am a complete mess. Whole body is shaking and uncontrollable sobbing.
Pam and Jeff tell me they are getting ready to go. I run back upstairs as soon as i walked into my bed room I collapse to the ground and pray. Pray for protecting, pray for Tyler, pray God would prepare me for the things to come, prepare me to face my son in an unknown condition.
The police did say he was fighting to get out of his car and they had to use the jaws to cut him out. So I prayed he would be ok. I prayed the whole way that God would prepare me for what I was walking into. I had no idea.
Chris came in the room and we stopped and prayed for Tyler for our trip for God to use this for his purpose. We submitted to God's sovereignty that He is faithful in all, He works all things for his purpose. We prayed for his strength, grace and mercy to fill our hearts and minds.
I texted my sweet pea to let her know thinking she would still be up. She didn't respond and I as grateful, meaning she was asleep.
We got dressed and let Kyle know what was going on.
I sat on the steps and prayed God would give me the strength to call Ashley. I was afraid she was waiting for Tyler to cal when he got home. No answer. Tried again and thought "if she does not answer I will call her mom. " second time worked and the Lord granted me with a calm ability to inform Ashley. She wanted to come with us, we were ready to walk out the door and I wanted to get here AASAP. I told her if her parents wanted to bring her she was welcome we couldn't wait. I had one thing on my mind, get to Tyler. I know my days of being there for him first are numbered. One day he will have a wife and she will be his number 1. She will be the one to sit by his side first.
We were in the van going down the road and I was trying to figure out where we could meet up with Ashley.
The drive to Charlotte never seemed so long. I texted my best friends in my adult life. My two all weather friends. It was now 2am.
We got to Carolina medical and I was not prepared for how large of a facility it is. Wow!
God answered prayers when I saw Tyler for the first time. I was not prepared for what I saw but I did not freak out. My body shook, my heart ached. I was so emotional and yet I did not freak out. Soon after we got to the room Ashley texted she was here.
The nurses were so nice, they filled us in on more details. The car hit a tree. I asked why Tyler was brought here, they explained Tyler had head injuries, was combative at the site and since they are brain specialists, this was the best place for him to be. With a head injury this is where he needed to be.
We got some good news that he was breathing on his own when he got here but because they needed to sedate him he needed to be on the ventilator. We were also told that the scans showed no broken bones. He did have a fracture in his left cheek bone and a laceration on his left hand. No big blood patches on the brain or no large swelling areas.
The bad news there is blood on the brain and we aren't sure what the effects will be.
I was so thankful to have Lisa there, being in the medical field she could explain what the doctors and nurses were saying. What a gift the Lord gave to us with Lisa being there.
That first night felt like a day in itself. The first day felt like 3 days.
When they came to clean and stitch up his hand, we could not watch. Ashley, being a nurse at heart (its a gift) held Tyler's hand and was fine the whole time.
5am they take Tyler for another ct scan to check the blood on his brain. Another piece of good news, nothing has changed.
I was not prepared on the end of the first day how he would react when they would lower the sedation or would try to wake him up by pinching him. The first time watching him freak and choak and throw up brought on the tears the shakes the light headedness.
We have had a few more of these times nothing as bad as the first. They all make me shake and bring the tears out.
We have a battle that will last longer than today, this week, that we will fight with Tyler. We will be by his side the whole way. We will enlist our prayer warriors and lean on God's way not our way. We will not lean on our own understanding but on the Lord 's, we will not be wise in our own ways. We will trust in Him, His sovereignty and his grace.
Every 4 hours they come and poke and prod my boy. I feel so helpless. They come and access him regularly.
We wait for news when he will go for a MRI. Whatever, this shows they say treatment is the same. So why do it? To get knowledge of what we are dealing with. To maybe get an idea of recovery.
Whatever the day brings I will trust in God and his ways. And while I wait I will pray the Lord will help me to meditate, think about only those things that are pure, lovely, excellent, praiseworthy, true, and good! This alone I will pray.
I will go without sleep to keep a watchful eye on my little chick. I know that even though this is difficult it is a gift from the Lord.
It is a gift, I can kiss his head as much as I want and he can't tell me to stop.
It is a gift to see the number of people who have contacted us to encourage us. It is a gift to see/ hear the number of churches lifting my son up in prayer. Life is a gift! Out lives are a love gift from the Lord, we can best love Him by obeying all his commands. Love is a gift. Love is patient, kind, does not boast, sees the good and does not keep an account of wrongs.
Life iss important to live by honoring the Lord in thought, word and deed.
Thank you Lord for your gift - the gift of Christ, died for our sins. Out is only by his blood we can be whole again. Repent and seek His will for your life. Its easy He wrote a book for us to follow!
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