Is life Surreal??

Do you ever have those days when no matter what- your mind can't think straight?  You  kind of feel like an alien or like your life is surreal maybe even like you are watching someone's life on TV! Times in a mother's life or a parents life when their child is moving on to the next stage of life and as excited as they are for them,  there is still this feeling of despair, sadness, and maybe a little aching in the heart. Times when you see your children not living up to the potential that they have, it's kind of a heartbreaking feeling that you have and yet you know God is in control and He knows all of this and there is nothing you can do about it. You are not in control of your child yet you sit back and watch as if watching a TV show.  In a perfect world you have more input but no more control! Watching your child hurt  and  you want so much to comfort that pain and yet you can't! You see the decisions that your child's making and you wish they would choose better and yet they have to learn from their own decisions.  These are the times that I'll look around and don't quite know how to explain what it is that I'm feeling. These are the times I can't even put into words what's going on. It is these times I choose to face each day with a smile and yet something inside of me is holding back the happiness and I just can't break through that. It's a state of almost delusion. The state of wanting love ones close and yet wanting to be by yourself so you can cry and not have to explain to anyone what it is you are feeling.

This may all sound like a jumble, that is kinda where I am right now. Trying to navigate this thing called life. This is a time for celebration and yet something is stealing that celebration. Could I be left to cry the hurt out and then be able to celebrate.

I know others try to help with giving God's word and yet in these times I want to be understood. Oh if I could have the wisdom and understanding heart Solomon asked God for. He too had misery.  He lost loved ones and I am sure on the anniversary of their death he was not singing and dancing in the streets. I know all of the people in Solomon's life did not have it all together. I know there were many issues! He said it's all vanity!!

So what's a mom to do when she sits and watches the decisions her children are making and she wants to bad to prevent them from the hard things they are walking into. I guess she sits back and offers advise, she can't make them be teachable, and she loves them through it! She does not agree what they are doing that is not a good choice. She tries really hard not to say "I told you so".  She does encourage her children to accept and follow wise council. Teachability the best gift one could have! Lord, may I be teachable and stay in your will!!

Until then I will choose to love even when others are not loveable. To love when I am being walked away from, ignored, not reconciled with. Lord help me to see others the way You see them as a soul worth dying for! Lord, I do not want to see them through the tainted picture of all the hurt, pain, and muck!!

 Romans 5:8

 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

  Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,  does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,  does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.